Why all this hate? Try to communicate.

This journal is now cencored.

2004-09-19T02:43:50Z

Somthing like...robot boots

2004-09-18T15:59:20Z

The fight scene begins...

victory for the robot....lets hug

"This tin foil is starting to smell like hot ass" -Drewfus

From good to bad to great

2004-09-18T05:27:32Z

Well today was pretty okay at school, yea whatever. But after school ms A gave me this silver insulation stuff from everyones cookie dough orders so with all this silver stuff me, tom and drew came over to my crib and we transformed drew into...a ROBOT! oh hell yea it was "tight as fuck" i was having so much fun. (ill get you pictures later) and it was just great. well then we went all the way out to dunellon. The game SUCKED. i mean we won but it was just so depressing. beau didn't want anything to do with me, he wouldn't smile or even look at me. I just talked with nikki and sarah and we had or stupid badn drama and all the band kids that are really really annoying....i was about to rip their fucking faces off. And thats like 5 people. god. well anyways the bus ride home was equally depressing until beau leaned over the seat and whispered to me "i cant wait till tomarrow" and i asked why and he said "becuase i'll be with you" then kissed me. yay i was happy. Well then i FINALLY convinced beau to go to steak-n-shake with us and when we got there it was packed so didn't go there...went to A and w but that was closed so we went to dennys. It was just tom, drew, emily, beau and i. Which was pretty nice. No annoying kids around and beau was having a good time (i was so afriad he wouldn't). i sat with my legs in his lap almost the whole time...pretty decent footrest hahah. Well on the way home beau and i snatched back seat and i cuddled myself against him. my legs were over him and my arms around his waist. my head was on his chest so i almost fell asleep. He had both him arms wrapped around me and kept hugging me closer. I felt so loved and i was so happy, i could have been in that moment forever. but...i have all day tomarrow and all day the next day. :D arrow loves her bow. lol well i guess ill go. talk to ya later ho's

oh happy day

2004-09-16T21:52:11Z

Last night on the phone with beau i said "tomarrow is gonna SUCK" because seriously i thought it would but...actaully this is the best day i've had for a long time. So OK im going to tell you about my good day since none of you really care.
Well to start off with...the morning actaully kinda sucked. Heather (my section leader) really pissed us off. Us meaning my whole section and we're pretty fed up with her so kerry and jaquie went to ms A and complained so heather isn't section leader anymore...solves that problem. Well then me and beau went to sit together and he was all silent again so im just feeling like crap cuz he is but...anyways bell rang, kissed beau went to class and was like "fuck i have a geom. quiz today" i now love tests in that class. Usaully the class passes by sooooo fucking slow but when you take tests it goes by so fast! i love it! and i know i aced the test anyways woo hoo.
then i went to world history and FINALLY met my teacher mr rogers. Since we've had a permanent sub for the past couple weeks. He's really awesome and stuff. That class wasen't that bad, me and connor didn't fight or make each other depressed for once so it was good. Well then On the way to last block i always see beau and when i walked down the stairs he was standing there waiting for me just watching me walk down the stairs. I went up to him and he seemed really happy again, when i looked at him he didn't look sad or give me that puppy dog face. i kissed him and gave him a note i had written and then out of nowhere he grabbed my face with both hands and pulled mine to his and kissed me. So i like "woah" in awe cuz he never does stuff like that and i didn't expect it especially now. Well i went to english, my favorite class and laughed alot and was just really happy with everything then the day ended and i went to band.
At band i hugged seth so much his eyeballs were gonna pop out, hes so cute. and i found out patrick gives uber good hugs. Now when im sad im gonna hug patrick and be happy. Him or scout or pudding. woo hoo. well im getting tired of typing this is getting to long. Game tomarrow ::bleh:: cya later pimps

Take it away.

2004-09-16T00:39:21Z

yea so my knee hurts now becuase i forgot to wear my brace to dance. yay. I feel like shit too because beau isn't exactly entralled with me right now. theres no use explaining. The people that need to know why already do. anyways...he did write me a note that made me cry today because it was so sweet...well moving on.
i have alot of homework and i have to write some crap for nhs. woohoo. I got straight a's on my interums tho im pretty proud of myself. Oh yes and a very happy birthday goes out to timmy taw. Happy 16th babe ya know i love ya. Well im at a loss of words right now, today was just kindof a crappy day. ill just go cry and do my homework. The past 3 days have been an emo moment for me, and even beau. But oh well ill talk to you people later. :(

and so the days go by

2004-09-14T23:42:24Z

yea, the days are beginning to slur together again. Same thing over and over. more fighting between me and connor (great) things getting better everyday with beau. hes the reason why my days dont completely just go by. Ya know he makes everday diffrent for some reason. yesterday was interesting, nikki spent the night and jon and jesus came over for like an hour. They were high, go figure. We just hung out in my room laughin and stuff. It was actaully fun, taking they were....wasted. well anyways nothing else has really happened (that i can talk about on here hehe) well over an out homies.

woop

2004-09-13T00:49:43Z

holla (or comment) if you think this is a hott

yay

Like woah...im bored

2004-09-12T23:55:11Z

So here i am taking

This one is okay..

one of those rare pictures where im smiling. Also a profile shot...ooohhh 2 in 1

lookin sexy in my sdcccfpwhsmpasem shirt

my eyeball

doin that gansta shit dawg

the only reason im putting this picture on here is because i think its funny. I look like a beaten house wife straight off of pine street and beau just...looks bad

saved the best for last.

thats all kiddies. again.

yay

2004-09-12T02:27:17Z

yesterday: Beau came over and stayed with me for like the whole day. Think he got sick of me but we still had fun yay. We went to the movies with nikki, rob, dan, eli, anthony etc...saw resident evil in all its...badness, but i still liked it. Had a pretty awesome night, comment if you must know.

today: Went bowling...was bored. Bought bubble gum. rode around with rob and nikki, then went to beaus and stayed there for a bit. Then to grab a bite to each and to the bowling alley to be up to no good. Dropped beau off, went to nikkis for what seems like forever and just hung out. Then robert drove me to tims yay.

tonight: Timmah had a suprise sweet 16 party i went to. Besides all the giggling vanguard girls it was pretty fun. I liked hanging out with my old buddies again. Kinda like how i was with dansmelly at the game. well im tired so, gonna go now ttyl.

wow

2004-09-10T03:01:01Z

So many lies and so much pain.
Even if your not the one doing the drug it still affects you just as much.

Hrm...

2004-09-09T00:20:04Z

well, here's an update of what has happened in the past couple days...

1) Hurricane days suck the big one

2) JUST got my internet back after almost a week (killer)

4) No school for the rest of the week

5) Im playing majoras mask for about the 450000th time. yay

Thats about it, until next time.....stay fresh

Chelsea ann and ashley nicole's camping adventures!

2004-09-04T15:13:06Z

Oh yes, lovely waterfall in the back

Men?

Kiss our arses

Still twins

Thats all for now kiddes, get more later

Oh when those FHS boys fall out in line...

2004-09-03T03:29:57Z

And we did win this game another time. It was like 45 to 13 or some garbage like that. I think i feels pretty good to play in the band of a kick-ass football team. Well anycrap tonight was our frist football game, and what a nice kickoff it was. It was out in the boonies, there were litterally cow pastures surrounding the stadium. My band director even wanted to go cow tipping, i mean cmon how boonies can ya get. In nikkis words "Man, i feel like im in ocala or somthin" Well the bus trip there was alright, dan and i just argued about his porno (that he clamined he threw away) and then nikki beau and i joked around alot. When we got there i was a good quartermaster and helped with the trailor and got everyones act together. (kindof) out of the 5 flutes we started out this game with 3 and ended with 2. Hrmm...i played section leader for tonight. 3rd quarter was fun, hung out with my (now bald) boyfriend. lovley. and nikki-bo-bikki. The bus ride home was not too horribly enjoyable becuase beau was grumpy for...some reason. I think i kinda but the guilt trip on him non-purposly. He was so like...grumpy like so i just leaned my head again the seat and looked out the window, the oppisite direction of him. Well i just thought if i left him alone id be better but he ended up throwing himself across my back and giving me a hug then kissing me. Which wasen't too bad but i felt bad cuz i made him feel sorry for me. Well then i drove beau and i home and we a nice goodnight kiss and that was the end of that. So yay, hurricane is coming. did you bring your coat?

whats the occasion?

2004-08-31T23:26:06Z

So in additon to last nights phone convo beau did another sweet thing for me today...

well in band this morning he wasen't there so i figured he was gonna work that day and whatever and i wouldn't see him until tomarrow. So after i did my quartermasterly duties and attended the NHS meeting i walked back twords the band hallway and called beau. Of course woke him up...he should know im going to call him when he's not at school. Anyways he said he was going to work that day so i was kinda sad ya know cuz he always skips on the days i have lunch with him but, thats okay.
Well lunch rolled around and i was walking around with jon, now jon is the kind of person that is always spaced out like..ya know out of it and i heard jon say "Woah dude" and thought maybe somebody was doin somthin weird so i turn around and up walks cefus, nice and sweaty. He seemed in a hurry about somthing so im just like "what are you doing here?" and he said "nothin" and gave me a hug. then he hurried to sit down and im like "beau....what are you doing" Turns out he didn't go to work that day, so during our lunch period he walked all the way from his house just to come see me and hang out for the, what? 20 minutes we had left of lunch. So i felt pretty loved again becuase it was freakin hott outside, and thats a pretty long walk in the sun. But he walked me to class and walked right off campus and back home. So im like wow. well anyways i guess thats why my day was made. <3

Sparatic peeing?

2004-08-31T02:11:53Z

And so i'm sitting on my futon getting tired of doing my biology homework when the phone rings and im like "alright, its somebody for my mum or papa" I look at the call id and its beau and im thinking "ok...well me and bobo already talked tonight and he had to go, maybe he got bored" picked it up and the convo went a bit like this:

Beau: heyyyy ashley
Me: hey whats up?
beau: nothin much
me: alrighty
Beau: well i just wanted to call and say i love you
me: heheh! i love you too! was there a specific reason for this?
beau: no, just wanted to say that
me: Oh alright, well you wanna talk or somthin?
beau: no im pretty tired
me: okay nighters, love you
beau: i love you too

And so thats why i've been smiling uncontrollably for the past 10 minutes and why i've disregaurded my science homework becuase i couldn't have a worry in the world right now, thanks again to that certian someone with the mohawk.

Wahoo we won again

2004-08-28T03:24:59Z

The classic was tonight. Yaya...the first and only varisty game ill be able to go to normally. So was walking around looking for somebody and found none other than Dansmelly! It was so funny too becuase there was no like "omg i haven't seen you in so long!" or "how are you doin blah blah blah" we picked up right where we left off 2 years ago. Haden't seen her since the last day of 8th grade, and we just got into normal conversation tonight. shows how tight we are lol. Brought up a bunch of old momories and it was just a blast of a night with my old friend. I have a feeling we're gonna be close again. So anyways while i was with danyell rex popped up...haden't seen him in forever and of course gave him the normal tackle with the accompined "i freakin love you!" and it was just like a middle school reuinon! We saw coach and austin and roc and summer and andy and alotta people. It was just soo fun being with all my old friends. Brought me a kind of peace again. The old kind of happy i used to have was brought back. Although i wanted beau the whole time lol i was still extremly happy tonight will all my old friends. Sometimes i wish i had middle school back, just becuase of the people i had and the friendships that were there. The ones that got broken becuase of high school. Like me and danyell were basically one person in middle school, always together always doing something the same. Nobody knew just ashley or danyell it was always the both of us. For a year i didn't have that and tonight i did and it was just like amazing how happy i was spending time with her. I hope everything works out alright now, but ill be happy never the less with my new or old friends and that certian someone with a mohawk

A song that reminds me of him

2004-08-26T04:02:14Z

Black then white are all I see in my infancy. red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me. lets me see.As below, so above and beyond, I imagine drawn beyond the lines of reason. Push the envelope.Watch it bend.

Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind. Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines.

Black then white are all I see in my infancy. red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me. lets me see there is so much more and beckons me to look through to these infinite possibilities.As below, so above and beyond, I imagine drawn outside the lines of reason. Push the envelope. Watch it bend.

Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind. Withering my intuition leaving all these opportunities behind.

Feed my will to feel this moment urging me to cross the line. Reaching out to embrace the random. Reaching out to embrace whatever may come.

I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiralof our divinity and still be a human.

With my feet upon the ground I lose myself between the sounds and open wide to suck it in, I feel it move across my skin. I'm reaching up and reaching out, I'm reaching for the random or what ever will bewilder me. And following our will and wind we may just go where no one's been. We'll ride the spiral to the end and may just go where no one's been.

Spiral out. Keep going, going... .::Lateralus::.

"Take my breath away, make me go numb"

2004-08-26T00:41:32Z

Beau does indeed love arrow. :D

A romantic night on the green

2004-08-25T03:09:23Z

wow, tonight was so awesome. I spent it with beau, shocker there and omg it was just freakin cool. Well i like came straight from dance and went to his house so i was all icky and funny looking but he didn't care cuz i woke him up and he was half naked :D So we layed around for a bit and wrestled for a bit because im sucha bitch and always trying to tickle him. mwahaha. anycrap...then we took a walk out of the golf course when it got dark and had a grand time together. It was like somthing you see out of a movie. Me walking and beau running ahead and slipping on some mud lol. But it was really romantic walking together in the moonlight. We found a park bench and sat on that. well beau sat and i layed long ways with my head in his lap looking at the starless night. After a while of laying there gazing up at the sky and him he picked me up princess style and set me in his lap. I was like "oh wowzini" well i didn't say that i just thought it. So then we enjoyed the moment for a little longer and walked twords his house. we got back in and he played some of his lovley music for me. Wahoo. Well we went upstairs and layed together on the bed and listened to tool. While we were laying there a certian song came on and i could hear beau lip sync-ing the words to himself. he wasen't singing but i still heard him. Well one part in the song came and he pulled my face twords his and sang a certian line about seeing the beauty or somthing and it just made my heart melt. Of course i gave him a big kiss then. Wahahaha. So i guess my day was made cuz of a certian someone with a mohawk. tee hee ttyl world ;)

wahoo

2004-08-22T23:38:43Z

Well this past saturday mimi and myself went to wild waters cuz her step-daddy-o has passes cuz sci was renting out the park and blah blah blah. Well we had fun and walked around talking about...boy problems, solutions (some tricks and tips) and just mainly, boys. They are a pain aren't they? hahaha. Well anyways i got sick somehow, i already had a sore throat and sinus infucktion, i mean infection when i went with her but now im just miserable. I dont know if ima go to school tomarrow or what. I just lounged all day and hung out with fernando. He cheered me up a bit but didn't cure my illness. They changed my favorite frappachino at starbux and i was almost pissed there for a minute. Its not brownie chocolate chip or whatever, now its java chip or some shitty name like that. Just cuz they changed the kind of chocolate goodness they put in it. It tastes kinda the same but i still want my brownie one back. whatev.
Beau went to gainsville with Ge yesterday and said he'd call me. Psh didn't hear a damn word from him. I got kinda worried, but then decided that i needed to be having fun with my friends cuz thats what he was doing then. I did have fun with mimi so its all good. He called this morning, was still in gainsville at this guy ricky's house. I really hope he didn't get smashed again. Well really smashed at least. Im so afraid that he's gonna get really wasted one day and cheat on me. Am i an ass for thinking that? Ugh...but it happens, its happened to people i know. Maybe i should lay off and worry about myself...hrm. Oh well, he's my boyfriend and somebody has to worry about him. Right? Hopefully i don't fuck this one up...

wahoo

2004-08-21T22:34:28Z

spending the night at mimis tonight...catch ya later suckers

stolen

2004-08-21T05:39:59Z

Shitty fuckin day

"I think i'm in love, too bad love fades. Go kiss a stranger it causes less pain" -cole

Is it love?

2004-08-20T04:00:23Z

So there was this hardcore show on wednesday. And i took some blows but woulda taken alot more if not for beau. It's kinda awesome if you think about...him taking all those hits for me. I mean i feel uber bad about it becuase he got hit so much just to protect me but he said he'd rather it be him that me and...i dunno alot of people wouldn't do that for me. Just makes me feel, loved.

anyways...he was diffrent at his house tonight too. But it was a good diffrent. he was more uh, romantic i guess you could say. Just made me want to snuggle up to him more all the time even tho i was already as close as i could get. Somthing between us just clicked tonight, we had a pillow fight and i ended up hitting him more than he hit me...but i got tackled into the futon so i guess that evened everything else. Oh well, its all for shits and giggles. Well update ya later losers.

and the reason is....me?

2004-08-18T02:25:58Z

yea its true. Im the only reason why he's still here the only reason he hasen't left ocala and the horrible situation he lives in. It's becuase of me, not his band not his friends but...me. I actaully matter that much to someone can you believe it? He says the its just too much to loose with me and him. It made me feel so special.
Storytime! Well after open house beau and i went to baskin robbins and there were three little girls there...sisters i presume. But anyways the youngest one looked at beau and just pointed and stared becuase he had his hair up. So after about 5 minutes of pointing she goes "mommy mommy look at his hair" And then the lady got in her face and talked to her becuase that was a rude thing to do. Well i laughed and just looked at beau and at that moment i just wanted to tell him how much i loved him because i was so proud to be with him. I ended up doing that but getting a sarcastic comment in return. Thats alright tho becuase he took it back later. Arg. Well i guess thats all i have to say for now so...cya later world

Todays the day

2004-08-17T03:04:37Z

Today was pretty long boring and uneventful. But after band practice...like woah everything exploded with excitment...kinda. I learned that Evan wants me to play bass for them (how cool!) I totally wanna becuase that would kick so much ass i dunno whad id do lol. Well as i was hearing this good news and enjoying my talk with evan i called beau and found out he was leaving his moms and didn't know where he was going. So i was like "fuck..." So beau got me worried again just becuase...i care about him so i worry and i just didn't know what to do. Well i grabbed my bass and cheered up becuase that always lifts my sprits. Then beau called from a payfone at publix. His mom had taken him there just so he could call me becuase he didn't want me to worry. How sweet is that? i dunno but man it made me feel pretty damn good. Mum told me we had to run errands so We went and picked up beau at publix and then ran those errands. When we got back home beau was hungry so i played good girlfriend and cooked him dinner and stuff. He, of course cracked those "get in the kitchen bitch" jokes in the process. Oh well i didn't care and he didn't care and we were both happy joking around with each other. We actaully sat down and ate dinner together and watched tv. I found it a pretty good time becuase i dunno we weren't all touchy feeling groping but like actaully talking and laughing together. It was nice. Then when we took him home we said our goodbyes and i looked at him as i walked away and he yelled "i love you" becuase i guess...he felt bad for not saying it for so long. And maybe it was the look i gave him. I dunno but he told me he loved me and that lifted my spirits again. So now i try not to worry so much about him. He's 16...he can take care of himself, but i guess having a girlfriend helps. I worry alot but, sombody has to do it right?